I’m an old guy and it’s been a looonnng time since I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. Not so for a young man named BJ Baker.
BJ is in his late 20s and he was having a very bad day the other day. He was too tired to do a (seemingly) simple cleaning job around the house. So, he vented in the way that other young MS patients would understand. BJ used to write wrap music, so he vented in rap poem. Here’s what he posted on the “We’re Not Drunk, We Have MS!” Facebook group. When you read this try to do it with a “rap” rhythm.
“As ur body weakens and muscles soften, starting a project and not finshing unfortunately happens often.
As you get older and age no worries thats to be expected, but when ur 27 that shit gets to be perplexin.
With M.S. its one thing after another as i try to not be a bother, as i go back in time thru my brother and see the future through my father.
no to camping trips, bonfires, outside parties being mean isnt my intention, its just the night blindness, numbness, lack of balance, make me the center of attention.
First dates for closeness but not super pushin for a 2nd, i enjoyed ur company u were very pleasant.
Not trying to be a jerk dates are fun and thats for certain, but how do you jump into a relationship already feeling like a burden.
Sometimes i lay in the dark all day pretending not to hear my phone, i desperately want company but feel im supposed to be alone.
Laying here typing rhymes after being beaten by a chore has feelings coming to the surface, the M.S. fog has me forgetting this poems purpose.
As ur body weakens and muscles soften, starting a project and not finishing unfortunately happens often.
As you get older and age thats to be expected but when ur 27 that shit gets to be perplexin.”
I’m not sure what to suggest to someone 40 years younger than me about what to do when “shit gets to be perplexin.” Fortunately, my MS progressed slowly and I was able to do what I needed to do, including working full-time, for many years after I was diagnosed at age 32.
It’s not a rap, but my philosophy is simple: Even a pair of deuces can be a winning hand if you play it right.
So, yo…
As I get older my act’s gotta get bolder. Alone would be perplexin’, I gotta do more flexin’. Not gonna make excuses. Not even for my deuces. My future is my makin’, no time for any fakin’. It really ain’t perplexin’.
****
(This post first appeared as my column on www.multiplesclerosisnewstoday.com)
(Photo: Mathys Cresson)
