Does your illness limit your ability to find a date?
Dating isn’t a concern of mine, since I turned 70 earlier this month and have been happily married for 42 years. But, on the MS social media sites that I follow, younger, single folks regularly post concerns about starting relationships.
Now there’s a dating app that might help make that social connection easier. It’s called Lemonayde. The dating app’s creator started Lemonayde because he discovered that starting a relationship was easier for him when he and a potential girlfriend shared the same medical condition.
In promotional material for the app, Lemonayde’s creator, Niko (he asked that I not use his last name), puts it this way:
“My first relationship started in college and it was with someone
who also had a skin condition (psoriasis). It may sound weird, but I initially fought off this relationship only because I knew she also had a skin condition. I don’t know why, but I guess I just didn’t want to convince myself that I’m only supposed to date people who were ‘like me’ (whatever that means). But I was also keeping myself away from something great. It was just a strange confusing paradox. Fortunately, I lost that fight and we started dating and it was a wonderful relationship. We bonded about things only we would be able to understand. We skipped the whole ‘worrying about my condition’ phase and just went straight to the fun part.”
My first reaction to the app was that if I were young and single, I wouldn’t want to be dating someone with MS. But Niko says the idea behnd his app is to “give a push” to someone who might not otherwise have the courage to enter the dating world. “I think we can all agree that no one wants to hear the phrase ‘sick people should just date sick people,’” he writes. “The mission is to help make sure that you’re comfortable with who you are, without feeling like you have to apologize for your condition; especially when it comes to dating.”
Checking out the Lemonayde dating app
After downloading the app I was asked to enter my name (only a first name is fine), my age and location, a maximum distance to look for a match, the gender that I’m interested in dating, and an age range for that person. It also asks for, but doesn’t require, some information “about me” and a picture. To this point, it’s just like your average dating app … I guess. I’ve never used one. 
Unlike the average dating app, however, it also asks you for “health challenges/life challenges.” That info is optional, but it’s also what the app is all about. Once you’re signed up, you can swipe to browse for free, but you need to become a paying customer to right-swipe to connect with someone.
I found no users near the beach community where I live, but many if I broadened my search to include a major, metropolitan area. They listed dozens of “Health challenges,” including some that are common, such as diabetes, fibromyalgia, migraines, RA, and epilepsy. There were also some that are not so common, like Ehlers-Danlos syndrome and Marfan syndrome. People listed MS but, surprisingly, not that many.
The cost to use Lemonayde to connect with someone ranges from $6.99 for one month to $47.99 for a year. Would I buy the ability to right-swipe if I was young and single again? I’m really not sure. What would you do?
(This is an edited version of my column that was originally on Multiple Sclerosis News Today).
